Did you spot our April Fool? Sadly York’s Town Crier is not getting a statue… Not yet, at least. Original story below…
York’s Town Crier is about to get a statue in his honour – plus some help from a robotic ringer.
Demand for Ben Fry’s services have rocketed since he returned to the role of town crier in May.
So much so that he is about to carry out his 1,000th ring.
To mark the achievement, York civic officials have drawn up secret plans to create a statue in his honour.
They have already commissioned some visuals, which have been leaked to YorkMix. The likeness of York’s bellman would be crafted from marble and placed in a prominent position on the City Walls.
YorkMix understands that the funding will come from melting down and selling the bollards removed from Acomb’s Front Street.
The next stage is to commission a sculptor to carry out the work.
In a citation, the officials wrote: “York would literally be nothing without the clang of the Town Crier’s bell, the hearty rasp of his ‘Oyez!’ and his rhyming-couplet based announcements.
“Our city has a long history of honouring its greatest citizens in statue form, including Roman emperor Constantine, railway king George Hudson, and duck influencer Long Boi.
“A monument to York’s bellman is a worthy addition to this pantheon.”
Ben said he was thrilled by the news. But he wanted to clarify a few things. “For example, how tall the statue is it? Is it life size? Maybe we could add a couple of inches to the statue?” he said.
“Also, what is being put in place, regarding birds pooing on the statue? Are York BID going to clean the statue?
“Is there going to be like an exclusion zone? Otherwise, are people going to try and draw a moustache on me so I look even more like York’s pirate?
“These are the concerns. But overall, I’m very proud, very excited, and I think it’s about time. It’s what York’s been crying out for.”
In a separate development, Ben is going to get a robotic assistant. A team at the university have created the CyberCrier 3000 – an AI-powered robot who can deputise when Ben is unavailable.
It can ‘Oyez’ in several different voices, including Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dame Judi Dench, Elvis Presley and Stacey Solomon.
One of the boffins behind the CyberCrier said: “This is a breakthrough in bell-based technology.
“It’s a great first for York, but we predict that by 2050, 60% of civic crying will be uttered from synthetic voiceboxes.”